Writer's Block :((((

One of the most frustrating creative afflictions you can suffer from. Makes you feel like a wannabe with a laptop (or a typewriter or pen, if you will). The blank Word Document seems to mock you, exposing and magnifying every vulnerability and insecurity hidden in your mind with regard to your "talent". Your mind turns into a pessimistic prophet, displaying visions of loneliness, dejection, hair-splitting frustration. You turn back to the few good pieces of work you had created in the glorious, glorious past, and find it difficult to believe they have come from the same source which now appears barren and gloomy. Truly, a depressing period. Alas, if only every malady in the world had a medical cure for it ...

PS: Ironically, I am quite impressed with what I have written about it :))

Wanna check out the richness of a story you wrote? Share it with a couple of friends and see how many interpretations they come up with. The more the number of interpretations, the more layers your work contains.

Even fear takes a certain type of imagination. You cannot feel emotions related to horror such as fear, chills, goosebumps if you do not have the power of visualization. This I realized while sitting alone in my screenwriting classroom, watching a spider approach an ant trapped in its web. The ant was unfamiliar of the danger as those thin, long sticks approached it. It was a scene from any one of those Nat Geo creature programs. What made the difference, however, was when I tried to feel what the ant must be going through once the spider trapped it in its sticky hold. I became the ant, getting tossed and turned and tossed and turned with nothing I could do about it, trying to escape but finding myself pierced with its venom time and again, the huge multi-eyed head in front of my eyes, stabbing me with its needle, waiting for me to pass out, and finally, getting embraced in a deathly web of curling legs as the spider sucked out my life force at its leisure. The very thought was blood-curdling. Brrr....

Three musketeers: The funda of buddy trios

One thing which has often struck me as odd is this unfailing, automatic tendency of mine to make friends in trios (including me, of course). No matter how many people I meet at various points of time in my life, I always end up having just two close friends from the whole batch, thus matching the combo of the classic three musketeers. Be it college, school, workshop, it almost always turns out to be three. Me-Addu-Gaddu; Me-Anubha-Tanmai; Me-Deepak-Atit (not all names could be included in sampling so those who are not mentioned are requested not to take it personally).
What is the funda behind this automatic selection process? Though I have pitiful knowledge when it comes to psychology, yet some brave attempts at delving into my mind have brought out some interesting explanation possibilities about the whole thing. Firstly, the number three has a certain rounded wholeness to it. You see one person - lonely. You see two persons - couple/best friends/ siblings/ enemies/ acquaintances - basically a little too many possibilities. But you see three smiling people together and bam! There's the balance we were looking for.
Being buddies-in-three also has the advantage of having a negotiator at hand whenever the need arises. In the event of a conflict between two gang members, there is always the third party who can put in efforts to solve the issue through tact, diplomacy, and appeasement. Of course, a precondition for this is that the third party involved here should have a certain degree of assertion in the trio, otherwise you will end up with two warring factions and a miserable figure stuck in the middle with nowhere to go.
Finally, there is the influence of the media and popular culture which may have a subtle role in popularizing the trio buddy business. Be it Charlie's Angels, Friends (3 guys, 3 girls, remember?), those million love-triangle rom-dramas, Harry Potter, Five Point Someone ... the message is simple: three means more fun.
But once again, I conclude with the warning to avoid simplifying my reflections down to a narrow message. Of course I am not advocating multiple calculations and manipulations while making friends. It is as much a natural process as falling in love. You don't plan to make friends, it just happens. Neither am I saying that only this combo works the best so all dissenters better find a third option to enjoy life. All I am trying to do is present my reflections on a particularly intriguing fact which has been revolving in my mind for quite some time now. Let's see if you agree ...

Reflections on Writing

One major lesson I learnt today - the biggest crime u can commit while writing a story is dictatorship over your "Subjects", namely the characters you create. This means being in complete control over what happens to them, what they do, what they are supposed to do, and so on and so forth. And believe it or not, moat of the time, the seed of this crime comes from what many amateur writers seek as the most valuable ingredient for growth: 'feedback', mostly from your well-wishers and loved ones.

Now don't get me wrong here. I am not saying that you should close yourself to the opinions of others and form this impenetrable wall of stubbornness around yourself and your story. Of course a second opinion is necessary at times to get a balanced perspective on your story. After all, the very fact that you spent a significant portion of your time and efforts over its creation makes you its parent. And as we all know, every parent thinks his/ her child to be the most special in the world. So a second or third-party perspective is of course necessary to gain an unbiased insight.

The problem comes when you begin treating the other party's judgment as sacrosanct and all-knowing. This is a major area of vulnerability especially for first-time or aspiring writers. Sometimes, the pressure of public opinion becomes so high that writers end up changing the very essence of their stories, the basic nature of their characters. Nothing could be more tragic. Because if you satisfy individual "A" with a particular change, tomorrow you will find an individual "B" who will be dissatisfied with that very change. Worse, he might suggest other changes to counterbalance this particular alteration. And before you know it, your magnum opus, your source of pride, your own creative offspring, will become unrecognizable to you. You will become the proverbial mother bird which ended up rejecting its own eggs after someone else had touched them, as it couldn't find its own scent in them anymore.

My basic point is this - accept feedback from one and all, because the fact that people are responding to your story itself shows that they are interested in it. Be grateful for it. But at the end of the day, sit down with those suggestions and filter them out according to what you think is apt for your story. Trust your judgment. After all, no one knows your story better than you do.

Truth

There are two basic emotions in human beings - love and fear. All else is but a derivative - Irengbam Debashish Singh

Retrospect

Well, back after my interview at FTII ... n guess what? Have actually got through the whole entrance thing. So now am an official FTIIian, heh heh... it's funny how one victory can make a difference to your entire paradigm on life. Suddenly, everything becomes achieveable. The past two-three months have been a kind of remarkable ones though. After my MA, I very consciously and thanks to the advice of a few good pals, did not take up any time pass sort of job or involvement. Just the workshop, and that was it.
It was also the first time I took an interest of mine so seriously - writing. With due credit to the freedom given to me by my folks, I actually took up a risk of this magnitude. The temptations were many - content writing ads promising upward of 15 k salaries, English teaching courses which promised good environment and flexible routines. But soon, I realized that there are times when you need to take a stand in life which might not be the most convenient one, but still the most apt one. You need to take risks, chances. As the adage goes, you cannot draw water from a well unless you throw in the bucket first. And this daring comes only after you trust yourself enough to know you will never regret this decision. This trust could be in the form of a faith in your talents, your abilities, your spirit. Whatever it is, the point is you need to have enough balls to not break down in case failure comes along the way. Failure has to be considered as a possible option to be accepted without looking back along the road. But this does not mean getting stubborn or blind to any U-turns. They are part of the route too, 'cause there are times when your destiny requires you to change. I myself have taken a lot of about-turns in my life. The point is you need to realize the difference between a speed-breaker and a detour.
One is meant to check your speed, the other is meant to take you on a path different from your original plans. Both have their timings. But the ultimate message remains the same - there may be speed checks and turns and twists in life, but there are no road-blocks. All you need to do is keep moving.